Retro 3 Things We Hated And three Things We Loved

Total Nonstop Motion Wrestling is perhaps experiencing something of a resurgence today, but when fans consider the promotion’s past, the very first thing to come back to mind likely is not one among the nice moments, like Elix Skipper walking the cage or AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Samoa Joe. No, the primary thought that generally involves mind about TNA of old is something bad and simply mockable. The reverse battle royal, Jenna vs. Sharmell, Aces & Eights — any of those could take first place relating to things which have made TNA infamous. But for a lot of, the standout of suck, “The Godfather Part III” of TNA is none aside from Victory Road 2011.

Fifteen years ago this month, TNA placed on a show so stuffed with nonsense that it’s inconceivable to suit all of it into this piece. Among the many stuff you won’t examine in great detail from this show are a Knockouts Tag Team Championship match where the long run Zelina Vega teases a belt shot for what looks like five years, the blandest tag title match to ever feature two mohawked individuals and Beer Money Inc., and Jeff and Karen Jarrett’s honeymoon. All of that happened, all of it was wacky, and it was still a distant second to the opposite stuff we’re going to discuss — a few of it actually tolerable! With that setup done, listed here are three things I loved (well, liked at the very least) and three things I hated in regards to the atrocity that’s TNA Victory Road 2011!

Okay, this one I did truly love, which is saying something because the remainder of this “BUSTED OPEN CO-HOSTS EXPLODE!” street fight did nothing for me. Which will just me being fickle, but in a world where AEW is having Texas Death Matches like they’ve, Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer doing tame hardcore spots that result in Bully 69’ing a blowup doll just doesn’t really hit home all that much.

But there may be one moment of sheer silly brilliance here, where Dreamer is using weapons fans delivered to attack Bully and comes across a large Minion plushy. Does he use it? You higher consider it! Does Bully bump for it like Darby Allin being thrown off the ring apron by Rush? You higher consider he does! Did I laugh? Hell, I’m still laughing. Call it comedic brilliance, call it unintentional comedic brilliance, I do not care; it was funny and simply the perfect thing on the show. And likewise evidence that may be used to blackmail Bully when he has a take about how wrestling must be serious. Didn’t must be while you were bumping for the Minion, Bully!

The second “hardcore” match of the show was very very like the primary, except there was no moment of joy like with the Minion plushy. In fairness, this was at all times going to be a tricky sell. Matt Morgan, at the very least for my part, was on his best day limited and on his worst day downright awful. Hernandez was good … a number of years later in “Lucha Underground,” when Ricochet/Prince Puma managed to make him appear like a monster. That wasn’t here though, so we’re treated to what looks like 20 minutes (but was really only eight and a half) of generic brawling before the finish.

And what was the finish? Hernandez winning the match because he squirted fake blood/ketchup/whatever onto Morgan, and the referee Jackson James (aka Garrett Bischoff) someway falling for it! Ladies and gentlemen, I actually have seen cut-off date draws, I actually have seen nonsensical run in finishes; hell I’ve even seen a DQ in a Hell in a Cell. But this finish must be among the many laziest, dumbest, and just plain worst you may ever see in wrestling. Mix it with the lumbering seven minutes leading as much as it, and this could be the worst thing on the show if not for … you already know.

As I hinted towards earlier, this is admittedly more of a “liked” than a “loved.” Given the history of Ultimate X, everyone knows that it may well reach some very high heights, and this match never seems to come back near hitting those. That being said, it is the only match on this show that I might say easily crosses the “good” mark, which is not any surprise since it features the likes of Kazarian, the Young Bucks (doing their dumb Generation Me gimmick) and future “NXT” GM Robert Stone during his Jersey Shore Robbie E days.

That is a variety of talent there, and so they make it work; Robbie provides the character, the Bucks provide the flash, and Kazarian is the workhorse that is helped make him one among the more underrated talents of the previous couple of many years. In a field stuffed with “Mortal Kombat: Annihilations,” this can be a solid “Mortal Kombat” style match.

You possibly can tell from the entrances, and the way in which Mr. Anderson is giving a stare that will make Seventies Roy Scheider impressed, that TNA wants this match to be SOMETHING IMPORTANT. In spite of everything, these are two big stars attempting to earn the best to develop into #1 contender for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship; in theory, it is crucial, and in theory, two guys like Anderson and RVD should make it work. Then the bell rings, and these two prove to have the chemistry of Anne Hathaway and James Franco hosting the Academy Awards.

They quickly mess up a leap frog spot (no, Mr. Anderson, I do not believe you were doing that intentionally), they later get so lost that RVD has to place a headlock on (imagine reading RVD and headlock in the identical sentence), and the remainder of the time they appear to be going either way too fast or way too slow with no direction. After which, to make things worse, they top the Hernandez-Morgan finish by going to a Double Countout, a finish presumably designed to make people wish to see the match again, only the match was so bad that you simply as a substitute get the hilarious “Restart the match!” “NO!” duel chant. Only in TNA! Very like with Hernandez and Morgan, this could’ve been the large disaster of another show. Alas, a good larger one awaited.

Again, this could be very much a “liked” as a substitute of a “loved,” and admittedly, “liked” could also be pushing it. That is how bad the show was; I actually have to know at straws to fill out this third part. But I’ll give it up for this match because, while Matt Hardy provides almost next to nothing for my part, AJ Styles is, as per usual, working his tail off.

Sure, it might be a semi-tame Styles as compared to a few of his greater matches, but you can not say the guy doesn’t give an effort; he’s flying around, he’s doing things like sliding under the guardrail to position himself for a Springboard Phenomenal Forearm, and he’s even breaking out the Spiral Tap to place Hardy away. And he only used that move every once in awhile, so that you knew he was feeling himself when he took it out here. There’s still only a lot he can do because this version of Matt Hardy is just a lot lesser than the others, not to say the match is stuffed with Ric Flair interference that brings it down. But overall, it still winds up being the second-best thing on the show because of AJ, so thus it gets this honor.

A part of me is nearly of the mind that there is nothing more that may be said about this match; we have all probably seen it by now, all of us realize it was a disgrace. Does it really bear repeating that time again? After further review, YES!

This match is a failure on almost every level, from Jeff Hardy being obviously impaired during his entrance to Eric Bischoff vamping to Sting literally pinning Hardy down for the three-count to finish an 88-second world title match, despite the fact that Hardy clearly tried to kick out. Sting and referee Brian Hebner are the one ones here that I might say showed any professionalism. All credit to Jeff Hardy for owning his behavior through the years, however it doesn’t change the incontrovertible fact that he actually didn’t act skilled by coming out for this match in no condition to perform. The TNA executives who allowed him to go on the market, who allowed him to get into this state by not keeping a better eye on him through the day, and who were so clueless to this that they couldn’t put together a correct alternative match in time, were someway even less skilled. And by the way in which, they continued to be that way within the years since, all attempting to pass the buck of blame from themselves. That, dear readers, is the way you wind up with this match, probably the most embarrassing things to ever occur in a wrestling ring. You’ll think I need not inform you it’s a complete disgrace, but nevertheless, we should always probably all be reminded how terrible this was, simply to make certain it never happens again.

Fifteen years later, all of us agree with Sting, who agreed with the fans. “That was bulls***,” indeed.