Video game mascots might not be as outstanding as they once were, but there are still certain characters we strongly associate with specific brands, developers, and publishers. The newest one to take the stage is Astro Bot, masquerading as PlayStation’s mascot.
When Astro’s Playroom got here free with all PS5s, Astro Bot’s fate was sealed. Nonetheless, I, personally, don’t accept it. Sony didn’t seek the advice of us, the players, when changing up who represents it, and a few would argue it doesn’t need to, but I still feel insulted. Here’s why I’m not accepting Astro Bot as the brand new face of Sony.
8
He Looks Too Smug
No One Smiles That Much
You would possibly think Astro Bot is cute, cute even, along with his little screen-face and blue eyes. Me? I sense a smugness in his aura that I just can’t get past. He knows what he’s doing. He knows the best way to manipulate you into pondering he’s mascot worthy.
He doesn’t actually have a mouth, but I do know he’s smiling. And that smile will not be out of pure, innocent joy. It’s smugness. Conceitness. Knowing that he has you all wrapped around his little finger. Not me though. I’ve resisted his little charms.
7
He Infiltrated My PS5 Without My Permission
Who Said I Wanted Your Game?
Who said I wanted Astro’s Playroom on my PS5? This jogs my memory of the time Apple put a U2 album on all our iPhones free of charge, but nobody asked for that. I didn’t opt in to this little smug robot taking on precious memory space on my PS5. Ask me next time, Sony.
I’ll admit Astro was more gracious along with his sequel, the titular Astro Bot, but once more, take a look at the title. It’s just his name. No creativity, just utter conceit. Not the energy I would like on my PS5, thanks very much.
6
He’s A Try Hard
Being A Mascot Doesn’t Come Naturally To You, Does It Astro?
I do know Astro Bot desires to be Sony’s mascot. He wants it so bad. His squeaky-clean appearance and personality tells me as much. He wouldn’t put a toe out of line, just so he can remain the face of every part Sony represents.
Where’s some authenticity? I just don’t feel like I’m seeing the true Astro Bot. He’s trying too hard to be the goody-two-shoes little guy that appeals to folks seeking to buy their kids a game for Christmas. It’s working for him, but that doesn’t mean I even have to prefer it.
5
He Feels Like An Industry Plant
Taking Manufactured To A Whole Recent Level
All the things about Astro Bot feels manufactured, from his blue eyes to the little antenna on his head. He was created in a boardroom by executives pondering only of the money he’s going to herald, not designed from the guts.
Nothing about Astro Bot’s popularity feels natural to me. Someone at Sony calculated his every move for max outreach and potential. You may even say every part he does is robotic, and that will be completely true.
4
He Beat My Game Of The Yr To The Game Of The Yr Award
No, I’m Not Salty
Astro Bot won Game of the Yr last yr. Sure, it’s a win for platformers and family games. I can appreciate that. But you recognize what must have won? Metaphor: ReFantazio. It’s got heart, a politically-charged story, and excellent turn-based combat.
What does Astro Bot have? Oh, jumping around a bit. Great. LittleBigPlanet did that 15 years ago.
3
He’s Like Wall-E’s Eva, But With None Of The Heart
I’d Moderately Be Watching Up
Astro Bot’s design immediately jogged my memory of something. Wall-E’s robot girlfriend, Eva. They’ve got the identical blue eyes and white… um. Body? Well, they appear the identical anyway. But you don’t see Astro Bot having a heart-felt romance with one other robot and saving the Earth, do you?
He’s mainly discount Eva, let’s be real. Possibly if Astro Bot can distinguish himself from other already iconic robots, then we are able to talk.
2
He Can’t Even Get Final Fantasy Or Kingdom Hearts Cameos In His Game
Not Even Cloud?
There are loads and a great deal of PlayStation cameos in Astro Bot. From popular series like God of War to indie titles like Kena: Bridge of Spirits, there’s a cameo from all walks of PlayStation history.
Nonetheless, there are two pretty big, Square Enix-shaped holes in Astro Bot’s catalogue of cameos. Where’s Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts, huh? Couldn’t afford those big bucks? If Sora isn’t friends with Astro Bot, I’m sure as hell not.
1
He Killed Sackboy With No Remorse
This Is Unforgivable
Ever since Astro Bot burst onto the scene, we haven’t heard a peep from our beloved Sackboy. The last game he featured in was Sackboy: A Big Adventure, and that launched with a whimper, relatively than a bang, and I consider it’s all Astro Bot’s doing.
Sackboy represents joy, creativity, every part we love about PlayStation’s history. Why has Astro Bot wiped him from the face of the Earth? It’s got to be some form of severe jealousy, I’m sure. If we now have Astro Bot due to Sackboy’s sacrifice, I can’t get behind that. Ever.
I’ll at all times love you, Sackboy.