Look, I like Baldur’s Gate 3. I actually do. But they did go a bit wild with the post-release additions. I’m talking personalized kisses that really match the character’s mood, villains you’re speculated to fight suddenly joining your party, mirrors that permit you redo your face mid-quest, and… soap. Yes, soap.
By some means my blood-soaked adventurers at the moment are scrubbing themselves clean like tiny murderous spa-goers. I don’t know why I find this so hilarious, but I do. These changes are ridiculous and completely crucial. I’m here to rejoice each one.
Dungeon-Side Smooches, Now With Personality
Tongue Mechanics Higher Than Combat Mechanics
Look, I’m not saying romance in Baldur’s Gate 3 was boring before, but yes, it was only one awkward peck for everybody, ever, without end. Larian decided we would have liked personalized kisses.
Every character has their very own smooch style, and every option matters. I’ve spent more time experimenting with these kisses than fighting enemies. My party is judging me. I’m judging me.
Yes, You Can Get A Glow-Up While Covered In Goblin Blood
Slay Goblins, Then Slay The Runway
Halfway through a terrifying, life-or-death quest, and suddenly hate your face? Perfect! A bit after the complete release, they added a magic mirror. Purple dreadlocks and sultry eyes while convincing Astarion to not bite me? Sign me the hell up.
Who even thought that what this epic story needs is a spa-level makeover station? Well… me. I’ve spent hours turning my hero right into a runway model who occasionally murders things. Vanity is the true final boss of Baldur’s Gate 3.
Soap Is Canon Now
Murder, Rinse, Repeat
Soap. Blood, grime, mysterious dungeon funk… gone. You may literally sponge down your party members mid-quest. Want Karlach to stop smelling like a swamp before a negotiation? You may do this. Want to wash off the aftermath of one more failed fireball? Go ahead.
Watching your murder-happy party lather up like terrified spa-goers is hilarious. Larian made hygiene an official gameplay mechanic, and someway it’s completely and deeply crucial. Now, I just need to know if it is available in lavender-scented.
That is what peak civilization looks like in Baldur’s Gate.
The Beef Jerky Dress You Didn’t Ask For
Haute Couture But Make It Beef
You may now wear Orin’s armor. To get it, you could have to… kill her. The chosen of Bhaal, the literal embodiment of murder energy, is now fashion. Her ugly beef jerk dress is terrifying and someway fabulous.
Each time I equip it, I feel like a villain in a dark comedy. I appear to be a murder goddess who’s been to a thrift store and lost a bet. Baldur’s Gate 3, you’ve broken me together with your sense of favor, and I’m someway hungry now.
The ‘Try Not To Cry’ Difficulty
Dark Souls Called, It Wants Its Difficulty Back
Want your heart broken, your pride shredded, and your life questioned? You’ll want the added Honor Mode. One save file, one shot. Die, and that’s it. No do-overs.
Every selection feels terrifying, and each fight feels lethal. It’s stress, it’s thrill, it’s absurd, and someway, it’s sensible. This added mode turned RPG into an emotional endurance test overnight. I attempted it once, reconsidered my life decisions, and went back to normal mode just like the coward I’m.
I Am Develop into Pocket God, Hoarder of All Things Shiny
The Marie Kondo Of Murder Loot
Inventory management has gone from nightmare to semi-controlled. They made a change post-release that permits you to see everyone’s stuff directly in camp. It’s minor, however the difference is wild. Looting is now strategic. I rearrange other people’s gear like a hovering parent.
I’ve never felt more powerful. Who knew giving me total control of other people’s pockets could feel this good? I’m the pocket god now. Baldur’s Gate 3, you’re a cruel, wonderful genius.
Minthara Joins The Family-Friendly Route
Villain Recruitment Program™
Minthara, villain extraordinaire, can now join your party on run. Knock her out as a substitute of killing her, and badaboom, she’ll show up in Act 2, recruitable.
You should definitely toggle your squad to non-lethal attacks.
Watching her sass the party while occasionally stabbing enemies is each terrifying and hilarious. It’s like adopting a feral cat with a vendetta. I can’t imagine they let this occur – on run, no less.
I Can Romance Shrek
The Real Endgame Is Fanfiction With Mods
I like that mods at the moment are officially supported in-game. Goblins replaced with Sonic the Hedgehog, rogue in a monocle and top hat, wizards only speaking in movie quotes. Someone’s probably done it.
This turns Baldur’s Gate 3 right into a playground of pure absurdity. I’ve spent more time testing mods than playing the actual story. It’s ridiculous and completely, gloriously wild. Every game should do that. It turns player creativity right into a legitimate gameplay feature.