Sarah Shahi‘s recent book reveals harrowing details about an incident when her dad held a gun to her head when she was 6 years old.
“In a way, my dad was the right dad because he wasn’t around. And my mom did the whole lot — she was the mother and the daddy and so I even have a variety of her in me,” Shahi, 46, exclusively told Us Weekly concerning the excerpts in her book Life Is Lifey: The A to Z’s on Navigating Life’s Messy Middle, which is out now. “My trauma got here from the abandonment of my father and in relationships the best way that has shown up for me, which is I feel like I even have to prove myself to ensure that someone to remain.”
She continued: “Or if I even have a fight with any person, I’m really scared that they’re going to go away. So those are the ways through which my relationship with my father, just like the trauma that that created in me as an adult. That’s how that showed up.”
In the recommendation book, Shahi addressed her late father’s drug addiction, which led to plenty of difficult experiences when she was a baby.
“My father, God bless his soul, was a drug addict. He was abusive not only to my mother, but one fateful summer afternoon, to me, too,” she wrote. “He was in the midst of a nasty episode when he took me outside, held me on his hip, and held a gun to my head. I used to be 6 and don’t remember anything prior to this moment. But I remember what happened after.”
Shahi recalled “how cold the metal was” against her head and the way her dad whispered that she was “too good, too pure, to be living on this world” so it was time for them to “go home.”
“His drug-fueled plan was clear: kill me then himself,” she continued. “In his twisted mind, my mother would follow, taking her own life in despair.”
Shahi’s mother ultimately saved her by getting the gun out of her father’s hands. Their family moved temporarily right into a women’s shelter before Shahi’s mother and father got back together a handful of times. The actress recalled officially cutting ties when she was 22.
“I modified my number and never spoke to him again,” she wrote. “He died once I was 35. Alone. Overdose. I cried for months, not mourning his death however the lack of the hope that things would ever change.”
While chatting with Us, Shahi addressed the choice to incorporate those details from her life.
“I refuse to imagine that the pain that I experienced was for nothing,” she explained. “In order that became my driving force in talking concerning the hard things and my purpose for sharing those things were never to make anybody look bad or to throw anybody under the bus, even my very own dad. Nevertheless it was simply to say these are the things that I learned from it on the opposite side.”
Shahi as a substitute selected to have a look at the challenges as a lesson, adding, “I feel like with all of my relationships — not only with men — but by way of my relationship with my father, with my sister, with working relationships and partnerships, everyone seems to be there to show me something.” .”
After reflecting on her dad’s personal battles, Shahi selected to not pass judgement.
Through the years, stars including Jennette McCurdy and Macaulay Culkin have discussed hitting all-time low with their parents. Jennette broke down the abuse she faced due to her mother, Debra McCurdy, in her memoir, I Am Glad My Mom Died. “After all, there are moments where I fantasize that my mom would’ve apologized or that […]
“All of those men that I confer with within the book, they absolutely helped me see a version of myself that I hadn’t seen before. Relationships really do delay a mirror. They delay a mirror to your flaws, to your weaknesses, to the places through which you’re not healed,” she noted. “It was really great because I got to experience that and I got to have a look at that and grow from it. I even have nothing but wonderful memories, even in the event that they’re not wonderful. I even have nothing but love and gratitude.”
She continued: “Everyone seems to be doing the perfect that they will within the moment. I’m also no one to actually judge them and say this was right or this was unsuitable, because they were doing the perfect that they will. Identical to I used to be doing the perfect that I can.”
Shahi expressed gratitude to her mom — and therapy — for helping her work through past childhood trauma.
“As I got to be older, I entered therapy. It’s sort of funny that I play a therapist on Paradise, since it’s like, I’ve been a product of therapy for over 20 years,” she told Us. “When you’re living life from a really surface level, you’re missing out on so many great things. For me, it’s just a continuing challenge to evolve spiritually, to evolve mentally. I’d relatively be comfortable than sad. So if there’s something that I’m sad about, let me work on it and check out to have a look at it from a distinct perspective.”
Life Is Lifey is on newsstands now.
When you or someone you understand is fighting mental health and/or substance use, you aren’t alone. Seek immediate intervention — call 911 for medical attention; 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline; or 1-800-662-HELP for the SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) National Helpline.